Teaching Our Children: Part 3

Communicating

For today’s purpose there are three main types of communications.

1  To a others in a personal situation.

2  To those who will not respond to personal communications I.E. going to the assembly as per Matthew 18.

3  Public addresses in which a sin is condemned and the gospel of salvation preached.

Godly communications means that we address others on a personal basis with courtesy and respect to avoid unnecessary offenses.  Even when we have a need to offer correction we are to do so gently.  A great example is how Nathan chose to approach David.

Because Nathan knew that David was trying to be a godly man, he did not come to David and say “you wicked man,” instead he illustrated his point so that David himself became aware of his wickedness. 

When we approach a brother we are to do so as diplomatically as we can while making our point.   Good examples are asking instead of telling.  Ask:  “Have you considered this?”  or “have you thought about that?” or “did you know such and such.”  Try to get the person to think the matter out and come to a better conclusion.

When there is distress between brethren; approach one’s brother as per Mat 18 but humbly and simple say;  “I did not understand what you meant by this, please explain.”  or “this comment hurt me and I ask you to explain what you meant”  or “I heard you said this and I ask you if you did say it and what you meant by it.”

When you make agreements always put them in writing. This is not a reflection on anyone’s honesty, but is a protection for all parties in case any point is misunderstood, or in case any point is later forgotten.

Courtesy and respect tends towards reconciliation and peace; while harsh words engender great hostility and anger. 

Proverbs 15:1   A soft [wise, well considered] answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. 15:2 The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.

James 1:26    If any man among you seem to be religious [godly], and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart [he deceives himself that he is godly for he is not], this man’s religion is vain.

James 3:2  . . . . If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.

3:3 Behold, we put bits in the horses’ mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body.

3:4 Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.

3:5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!

3:6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

3:7 For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind:

3:8 But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

3:9 Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God.

3:10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.

3:11 Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?

3:12 Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh.

3:13 Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.

Brethren,  learn to communicate with courtesy and respect with all people; for this is a part of godliness, fulfilling the commandment to love thy neighbor.

Nevertheless we are to rebuke sin,  and boldly rebuke the adamantly unrepentant elders, by rebuking the unrepentant sinner before the whole Ekklesia (Mat 18:

1 Timothy 5:19  Against an elder [or anyone else as says the law] receive not an accusation, but before two or three witnesses, 5:20 Them [all sinners including elders] that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear. 

In addition to teaching our children God’s Word, we need to teach them how to communicate effectively and politely. It is very crucial that we do so, next to teaching them about God, it is one of our most important tasks as a parent.

Assuming that children will learn proper communication skills without parental guidance is a big mistake.

Godly and responsible parents should begin teaching their children basic communication skills from the time they are born and continue to hone those skills as the child matures. Communicating well with others is a basic necessity for a civil society and it is very important in our day to day interactions with others. And as mature Christians it is one of the means by which we can convey the message of Christ to others as God gives us opportunities. 

We want our children to grow up with the verbal skills to communicate appropriately and effectively. Communication is one of the most important factors when it comes to success in relationships and in the work place.  

If we expect our children, when they are young, to be passive, never allowing them to voice an opinion or their own feelings, always telling them to be quiet (or to shut up), they will most likely grow up to be stunted in communication skills. But daily conversations with children beginning when they are very young are an excellent way for parents to model to them basic communication and courtesy skills. 

Intentional conversations with our children, with happy facial expressions and with lots of affection help to lay a foundation for good communication later as they mature and then throughout the rest of their lives. The parent’s ultimate goal is to raise their children to be able to converse courteously, who listens to what others say, and who are able to clearly express their own thoughts, ideas and opinions. Failing to teach proper communication skills could socially and career-wise limit a child for a lifetime and keep him from fulfilling his full potential later in life.

Good communication is important within the family structure and it is the parents’ job to instill within their children the ability to properly communicate with others. Good communication within strong families will provide the family members with a sense of security and cohesiveness that families lacking in this component do not have. Good communication starts with both parents, themselves, having a good connection with each other, and being able to voice their concerns and opinions freely, but doing so in love, kindness, and with total respect for each other.

Teaching our children begins first with our own example for they will see good communication skills in action and will naturally pick up on what they witness and hear mom and dad doing. They will quickly learn to speak and behave the same way they see their elders and peers speak and behave, just like they naturally learn their native language from their parents with all of its nuances and with the same accent.

Teaching children how to communicate should start when our children are tiny babies. As we are taking care of our baby we can be constantly talking to them, telling them what we are doing, what other family members are doing, speaking words of endearment to them and the other children that are in his presence.

For example, as you are working around the house, you can tell them what you are doing and what you are going to do. “I am watering the plants and oh how beautiful they are, the azaleas and day lilies are growing and they look so beautiful because we water them every day. See “Baby’s Name” how pretty they are?” We can continually talk to him and share our thoughts about what we and the baby are looking at, what we are planning on doing next, what Daddy is doing or what the other siblings are doing. Children, even little babies, love animals, so we can show them the antics of their pets or the outdoor creatures and talk happily about them.

Even though they might not understand our words at first they will be learning about words and tones of voice, and will soon be able to pick up on meanings more and more. But more importantly they will be learning that communication is important; when we talk to our children it shows them that we love and accept them and they will be much more bonded to us than if we hardly ever talked to them.

It is also very important to teach proper manners and courtesy beginning when our children are very young. Even with a baby and very small children, use words that show courtesy, such as “please”, “thank you”, and “you are welcome” as this will instill the habit of always using these words of common courtesy to others when they begin to master communication for themselves.

Here are some other ways in which we teach good communication skills:

It is important that children be taught to establish eye contact with the person with whom they are speaking. Looking directly at the other person in the conversation shows interest, conveys that we care about the one we are speaking to and shows respect. Children need to be taught that looking away and not paying attention is a sign of disinterest and are not good manners. 

We need to speak clearly and correctly with good pronunciation, using proper grammar; not with mumbling or rambling speech. We should always use correct speech habits of communication to model to our children. When small children are learning to talk, parents should pay attention to how their children are speaking and gently and lovingly correct without embarrassing them.

We can do this quietly and matter of factly and then praise them when they do well. There is no need to make a big deal over mistakes and correcting mistakes in front of others should be avoided because doing so may unnecessarily embarrass them in front of others or cause children to feel self-conscious, inhibiting their speech and causing them to want to avoid speaking when others are present.

We should teach a child to take turns when talking and not to interrupt. It is important to train a child not to just jump into a conversation when others are still speaking just because they feel like talking or want something. We see this all the time with children that have not been properly taught this courtesy and in many adults who consistently interrupt to give their opinion or what they are thinking rather than waiting for the other party to finish what they are saying. This is very rude and disruptive.

Parents must strive to curb this behavior and teach children self-control from the very beginning. When a child interrupts, the parent should stop their conversation, firmly tell the interrupting child to wait their turn, and then pick-up the conversation where they left off. 

Other important skills that parents should focus on when teaching children basic communication skills, are controlling their volume, not using inappropriate words or phrases or any language that might offend, and to be discrete.

Avoid talking “baby talk” to an infant as this teaches the baby improper words and pronunciations that he will have to unlearn later. It may be kind of cute to hear certain words spoken in baby talk at first, but after the baby gets older those things may still be a part of his speech patterns. The “baby words” may not be as precious sounding when he is four or five or when he goes to school and the other children make fun of him.

Speak to him with clear, well pronounced words and avoid slang words as well, and in this way a child will learn proper language from the time of his birth and at the very beginning of his learning to talk. By using proper language rather than slang or baby talk, they will portray proper respect and courtesy no matter who they talk to, whether it’s adults, teachers, people in authority, or to other children including their brothers and sisters.

If children have been constantly spoken to when they were babies, they will be more apt to learn much quicker for they have been recording and learning about speech even before they begin to talk. When they begin to talk and can speak sentences, we can encourage them to ask a lot of questions.

They must never be made to feel ostracized by their parents for asking “dumb” questions or made to feel bad because the parent makes it known to the child that he is bothering them with their questions. It is by asking questions that children learn the most and shows that they are thinking. If they have been encouraged when they are young to ask questions to get answers for what they are trying to learn, they will continue to feel confident to always ask questions when they do not understand certain things. 

Children just naturally want to know things, they constantly ask questions and if their curiosity is nurtured and not squelched in their youth, they will have learned a vital skill of communication that will help them to find out the things that they want or need to know as they are growing up.  Also, we must teach them to politely ask others about what interests them and in this way they will learn how to interact with other people and how to carry on conversation with new people that they meet. 

By teaching them that it is okay to ask questions, we encourage them to be life long learners, to always question things and then to go about to find the answers.

 

Encouraging our Children to Communicate About and With God

Not only in searching out questions for mundane small matters, but we must also inspire and encourage our children in asking the most profound questions pertaining to life and about God, the one that created them, gave them life, and holds the keys to all true knowledge and things pertaining to life.

Teaching children to think for themselves will help them in seeking to learn very important spiritual things of God as well, and they will learn more than if they hold back and are afraid to ask questions. By all means, let them talk about God and ask many questions and then seek to answer their questions from the Bible and from Bible dictionaries that make clearer the meanings of words and verses that they may be trying to understand.

Our heavenly Father encourages all of His children to ask, seek and knock for His good gifts, which include the knowledge of His truth and to be filled with His Holy Spirit. We can teach our own children that they too can ask God for more of His wisdom and for help in their lives. As parents, we can set a positive example by continually seeking for more understanding and wisdom for ourselves by asking for it from God and being open about our own worship and devotions and then allowing our children to witness that we too want to apply what we learn after finding answers.

Prayer is another form of communication, only it is to our God in heaven and we must teach our children the importance of talking often with our heavenly Father, giving thanks to Him, telling Him that we love Him, and to ask Him for help with all of our problems and to help us live our lives according to His ways of righteousness. Let them see us speaking and communing with God on a daily basis and this will impart to them the importance of communicating with God for themselves and that they too have access to Him, even though they are still children.

Matthew 7:7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 7:8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. 7:9 Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?

7:10 Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? 11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

Luke 11:13 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?

 

Teachable Moments in Day to Day Living

As our children get older, they will just naturally want to talk to us about what they are thinking, about things that are happening in their lives. We can use these opportunities to ask them questions which will help to stretch their minds to think about things which will provide them with practice in expressing the things they think about.

We can ask them questions that require more than just a “no” or a “yes” reply, asking them about details, specifics about the things they have experienced that day and how those situations made them feel. We can ask them about what they feel would be the right thing to do in a certain circumstances that they may be experiencing and then offer insights as well. In this way they are practicing for future relationships and how they too can be skilled in carrying on conversations with all types and all ages of people. And by coming to us about the things that they are experiencing and discussing them with us will teach them how to come to right conclusions by talking things out with others.

Parents should also help their children to understand nonverbal communication and cues, and teach them to have good manners when talking to others. Rude facial expressions like eye rolling and grimaces, as well as yawning when others are talking to him, hair twisting, looking away at something else like their I-pod or phone, and checking one’s watch, are all bad manners and should be discouraged.

Practicing good communication skills involves the need to learn that rude, inconsiderate nonverbal actions and behaviors can make people feel badly. Learning to read other people’s nonverbal cues is an important lesson that we all need to practice. If we properly exemplify these things to our children, with time and practice, they too will begin to understand what the proper behavior should be when having a conversation with others. Also we must teach them about how to politely end conversations, finish a story or change a subject. 

We can give them opportunities to talk about things while riding in the car, while doing chores together, or at meal times; talking about what happened at school that day or when helping them with their school work and talk to them about what they are studying and learning.

As a family with children of all ages, it is important to eat meals together as often as it is practical. While every one is gathered around the table (or maybe at a restaurant) is a great time to have plenty of hardy and scintillating conversations. Choose a topic that all can speak on and encourage all ages of the family members to be involved. This is a good time to teach how to listen as well as to talk; with family members taking turns in talking and then not interrupting when others are speaking. Teach them how to communicate with each other with courtesy and respect and do not allow anyone to start heated arguments or to put each other down.

Teaching How to Listen is Also a Part of Skillful Communication

Part of teaching communication skills is teaching children how to listen as well as speaking up and we can do that most effectively by being an example of one who really listens when they talk to us. We show how to listen by paying attention to our child when he is telling us something and then respond to him appropriately.

Modeling good listening skills to children is the best way to teach good listening skills to them. When conversing with children, parents should listen attentively and then ask appropriate questions of the child and allow the child to respond. Show interest in what the child has to say and teach them that the best conversationalists are those who listen well. 

Even though their stories may be silly or boring to us, we need to show them that we are interested in what they have to say and just enjoy them, for soon they will be grown with lives of their own and the opportunities to have talks will become less and less frequent. As good listeners, we should look at our child in the eyes when he is speaking, repeat key phrases back to him to let him know that we heard what he said to us. Then we need to give him a chance to help us to understand what they are trying to say if it is difficult for us at first, even if you do not necessarily agree with what he is saying. Take time to explain why we do or do not agree; or gently set him straight if he has misconceptions about what he is talking about.

When having deep discussions with our child and listening to them talk, it helps to maintain physical contact such as holding those who are small, putting our arm around the shoulder of an older child, or ending the conversation with a big hug. Non-verbally, this communicates that, we, the parent care about our child and what he has to say.

Sometimes it can frustrate a child to feel that his parents do not understand his position or if he has a different perspective than his parents. This does not mean that we are to cater to the child’s every demand or whim. It does mean listening to a child so that he does not feel that we have ignored his thoughts and feelings when we teach them as the parent. Listen for the message behind our child’s words. Is he is sad or worried about something? It is reassuring to him to show genuine compassion and empathy for our child even if we need to correct and discipline.

Kids need lots of affection, as well as proper communication and appropriate responses to what they want to tell us. We must appreciate that our children are different people than we are and will not have exactly the same opinions and feelings that we have. Our ultimate goal as parents is to rear our children to be independent of us, to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, internalizing God’s precepts and principles in their own hearts and being capable of thinking on their own, not as a carbon copy of ourselves that just parrots what they have been taught.

If our child comes with a question it is best to drop everything and pay attention to the child because the question may be very simple for you to answer but a burning issue for the child and the teachable moment may be lost forever if brushed aside.

Something that may seem unimportant to us may be very crucial to a child in his little world. The concerns and fears he may have are real to him and it is important for him to talk about them to us. Some thing that may be frightening to our child may sound silly to us but if we laugh at him or put him down for his fears will cause him to not want to confide in us any more and will he will become withdrawn, shy and will harbor those concerns within without being able to process them with some one, which should be first of all with his parents.

 

Teaching Respect by Being Respectful Ourselves

We must allow our children to talk to us often and to be free to speak what is on their minds and to give them the chance to express themselves without feeling that they will be judged and condemned. At the same time, we must teach them from the time they are small that they must do so with respect. And one way we teach them, of course, is by our own example.

If they witness us speaking to others with respect, never backbiting behind others’ back, never talking derogatory about or to others, never being sarcastic and mocking, then they will tend to talk to us in the same way that we have treated others including themselves. In other words, if we expect our children to speak to us with respect, we must first be respectful of them as valued persons. If we do not show respect when interacting with them, and then expect them to respect us just because we are the parents, this will project hypocrisy to them and will corrode their respect for us even further.

We must not laugh at our children unless they are laughing, too. If we put them down because they do not know as much as us or even other children, or because they are unable to do something yet, we could break their spirit and cause them to think that way of themselves.

To ridicule a child may seem like great sport to some, but it will only cause the child to withdraw and to be afraid to be himself or to share who he is and what he feels with others. And this could have life long repercussions for a child who is constantly ridiculed and told certain negative things about himself.

Proverbs 15:4 A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the [breaks the spirit] spirit.

We need to try to always speak in a loving, warm tones to our children. If we yell at them about every little thing, like spilled milk, our kids will be less likely to listen when it may be necessary to shout at them when they are in danger and we need to get their attention to get out of harm’s way. Again, if we are in the habit of yelling and screaming at our children, it makes us abusive bullies.

James 1:26 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain.

If we recognize this trait in ourselves, we need to repent and ask God to forgive us and help us to refrain from being harsh, and using our yelling as a weapon against our children.

Yelling and screaming is a form of abuse and it often will backfire, for someday our children will start yelling and screaming at us, to others, even their pets, and nothing positive is really accomplished by using this method of communicating to others.

Titus 2:7 In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity,

Proverbs 16:24 Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.

Ecclesiastes 9:17 The words of wise men are heard in quiet more than the cry of him that ruleth among fools.

When having a conversation on a subject that is causing either one or both parties to become emotionally charged, it may help to take a break. Resume the talk later, perhaps after ten to twenty minutes. We can then use that time to ask God to help us control our emotions and to direct us to a solution to the conflict.

Proverbs 15:15 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

Again, we must never raise our voice, yell or scream; this should be a “given” for any parent that claims to be a Christian, yet this is something many Christian parents fail to control in dealing with their children and teens. Most of us have often seen this even at church services and church activities.

Many parents just do not realize that this is improper child rearing as this was the way they were brought up and they have never been taught to stay calm and in control when they need to make known their requests and feelings to their children.

Added to that, avoid any kind of destructive talk. Curt, cynical comments and sarcasm, hurt and leave permanent scars. We must never, never call our child names like dummy, stupid, idiot, knuckle-head, clumsy, etc., etc. And if we do make mistakes in the way we have communicated wrongly to our child then we need to apologize when necessary. We must let him know we are truly sorry if we have spoken to him unfairly or if we have judged him about something without getting all the facts.

Proverbs 18:13 He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.

When we show ourselves to be humble with our children, when we make mistakes we must acknowledge our mistakes and apologize for them; this teaches them what it means to grow by correcting our mistakes, and to be forgiving, just, and humble and hopefully they will follow our example in these areas as well.

Ephesians 4:15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

Being an adept communicator is a necessary skill in today’s world and having these skills will most assuredly prove to be very useful in this life and in the life beyond. Children need guidance from their parents to learn how to communicate effectively and courteously. Good listening skills, self-control, use of good grammar, and sensitivity are all skills that can be learned and it is what God expects of the parents to teach as part of their responsibilities. If parents start modeling conversation skills early, they will help their children develop refined and sophisticated communication behaviors that will benefit them greatly the rest of their lives.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

 

Guiding Children By Giving Them Sound Godly Advice

When dealing with a difficulty that our child is having, recognize that sometimes it is an action that is upsetting him rather than a person, and we can teach them to distinguish the difference.

For instance sometimes a child may be upset about others. Maybe the child had to be corrected or there was a misunderstanding. We should encourage our child to talk out his problems with us, to reveal their concerns so we can better know how to guide him. This helps the child to learn to reason out problems later in life.

This is a good time to refer to principles that we have taught them from the Bible and incorporate God’s ways to the situation that he is facing. The difficult situations that come up in the daily lives of our children provide more teachable moments that we can take advantage of to teach them of God’s ways of handing the problems that they will encounter in life.

If our children can come to us and communicate their concerns and problems that they are having with others and if we lead and guide them with love, concern and sometimes firmness, they will come to trust that they can come to us with even more serious matters as they grow older, and even into adulthood.

It is a very good thing, when even as adults, our children can come to godly older parents and receive wise advice drawn from the well of their own experiences and from learning lessons while walking with God much longer than their children. In this way the parents can continue to pass on the principles and wisdom of God that they have learned even after their adult children have grown up and are on their own. By establishing good communication and bonding when the child was young, both parents and their now adult children will most likely enjoy loving family relationships that will continue the rest of their lives.

Proverbs 11:14 Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of [wise] counsellors there is safety.

 

The Lost Art of Godly Communication

Proverbs 8:13 The fear of the Lord is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward [perverted and twisted speech] mouth, do I hate.

It important that we teach our children how to communicate and to do it in a godly fashion. All we have to do is look at the way most people talk in our modern day, how they communicate, the words they use and the attitudes behind those words and what it is doing to our culture.

The media and music industry think nothing of portraying the use of cursing, swearing, perverse filthy language, hate speech, gender bashing as the cool way to talk and behave. Modern day children (and adults too) think nothing is wrong with the things that they hear and that this kind of communication is quite normal. They want to imitate the way they see the celebrities and the sports heroes talk and behave. It is not just the celebrities’ fault, it is also because this end time society has lost its moral compass and most parents do not have God in their lives, and they fail to teach their children high standards and morals because they do not have them themselves.

All we have to do is visit a school, walk through a mall or store, pass children and teens on the sidewalk and just listen to the way they talk and speak to each other; or even as they call out remarks to the public. It can be quite enlightening! or perhaps more like disillusioning.

James 4:7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 4:8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 4:9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 4:10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.

The world is in bad shape in the ways of communicating and is oblivious to recognizing the evilness of ungodly and foul language. Those who do use Godly speech, who are kind and polite, who never curse or use filthy language are very rare. The world needs Godly leaders to take the front row and show the world what is really good and proper and the kind of talk and behavior that would bring true and lasting peace and Godliness to the world.

Fortunately, true believers know that Jesus Christ is coming to this earth and He is going to set up a Kingdom where only Godly, gracious speech and courtesy to others will be allowed. There will be no more evilness in the way people talk to each other; only pure and righteous language will permeate the whole earth. And this is something that God’s children can look forward to.

Zephaniah 3:9 For then will I turn to the people a pure language, that they may all call upon the name of the Lord, to serve him with one consent.

 

What Does Jesus Say About How We Are to Communicate and Use Our Words?

Jesus Christ tells us through many Scriptures the ways we are to communicate with all people.

Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. 4:30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. 4:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

Psalm 49:3 My mouth shall speak of wisdom; and the meditation of my heart shall be of understanding.

1 Corinthians 14:3 But he that prophesieth speaketh unto men to edification, and exhortation, and comfort.

Hebrews 10:25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

Psalm 37:30 The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment. 31 The law of his God is in his heart; none of his steps shall slide.

Proverbs 20:15 There is gold, and a multitude of rubies: but the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel.

1 Peter 3:10 For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:

Colossians 3:8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.

Colossians 3:12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; 3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. 3:14 And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. 3:15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

Matthew 15:11 Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.

 

Jesus Christ, the Greatest Communicator of All

As we know, Jesus Christ is called the “Word” which is “logos” in Greek. He was sent to be a Light to the world and to teach mankind the Gospel message which is the way to salvation. He was the greatest orator of all time. He came to communicate to us that He is our light, the source of all light; but the people of this world are in spiritual darkness until they receive a special revelation of the light of God which is His truth.

That is why Jesus became the Light of the World for He came to give us God’s light, to reveal to us God’s love and to teach us all the ways we are to live that leads to salvation and everlasting life with Him. And as His called-out ones, He calls upon us to do the same, pointing others to Him and to His teachings.

John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 1:2 The same was in the beginning with God. 1:3 All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. 1:4 In him was life; and the life was the light of men. 1:5 And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.

The Greek word for “word” is logos (Strong’s #3056) and means: a word, speech, divine utterance, analogy. (Strong’s Concordance)

Also: 3056 lógos (from 3004 /légō, “speaking to a conclusion”) – a word, being the expression of a thought; a saying. 3056 /lógos (“word”) is preeminently used of Christ (Jn 1:1), expressing the thoughts of the Father through the Spirit. [3056 (lógos) is a common term (used 330 times in the NT) with regards to a person sharing a message (discourse, “communication-speech”). 3056 (lógos) is a broad term meaning “reasoning expressed by words“.] (HELPS Word-studies)

1 John 1:5 This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.

John 1:4 In him was life; and the life was the light of men.

John 1:12 But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:

Listen to Jesus’ words about Himself:

John 8:12 Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.

John 9:5 As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.

Jesus called Himself the light of the world which had been prophesied by the prophet Isaiah who predicted that the Messiah would come as the Light of God.

Isaiah 60:1 Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon thee. 60:2 For, behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and gross darkness the people: but the Lord shall arise upon thee, and his glory shall be seen upon thee. 60:3 And the Gentiles shall come to thy light, and kings to the brightness of thy rising.

Matthew quoted this prophecy from Isaiah and said that it came true in Jesus who came to earth as the Messiah.

Matthew 4:16 The people which sat in darkness saw great light; and to them which sat in the region and shadow of death light is sprung up.

To show others the way of salvation we need to be like Jesus and to be His lights in a dark and lost world, able to communicate to them the Gospel message which is the whole Word of God. 

When we teach our children how to be effective communicators, we are equipping them to not only succeed in social skills in life, but also to be skilled communicators in teaching and spreading the Good News, showing others the way of salvation through Jesus the Messiah, just as Jesus Himself taught His disciples to do:

Matthew 28:19 Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: 28:20 Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

In teaching our children all the ways of God, we are equipping them to be fit vessels for the Master’s use, prepared to do every good work. Equipping them to be effective communicators will help them to be fit for the use of speaking the Gospel to those they come in contact with and eventually throughout the whole world. To preach and teach not just in this present physical world, but in the Millennium when there will be a huge need for many skilled communicators to preach the Gospel to all those living; and then to teach all who come to Christ how to live according to every Word of God.

2 Timothy 2:20 But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honour, and some to dishonour. 2:21 If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master’s use, and prepared unto every good work.

 

Let Your Light Shine In A Dark World that Only Seems to Know Corrupt Speech

One of the most noticeable ways we can shine God’s light into this dark world is by how we communicate and how we use our words. If we speak and behave the way the world does, we instantly lose our credibility as a follower of Christ; even if the ones watching us use worldly and profane speech patterns themselves, for somehow they still know that evil speaking discredits one that claims to be a follower of the Way. 

The world is watching those who claim to be Christians, and we must be ever careful to always be pure in what we say and how we say it, for this is one way we can witness to the world of God’s righteousness and holiness. Be the salt of the earth and the light of the world and have courage to show forth the light of God’s truth in all ways that we live, including how we present ourselves in the way we communicate; not only to the world but also to our children and our families as well.

Matthew 5:13 Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. 5:14 Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. 5:15 Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.  5:16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

Colossians 4:4 That I may make it manifest, as I ought to speak. 4:5 Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

Solomon tells us that there is much power in the way we use our tongue [words] and that with it we can bring health and life and even give to others the power to have eternal life for themselves if they listen, repent and do those things necessary to become a member of God’s own Family; or we can destroy others with our speech and bring death to those that are the recipients of our destructive words.

Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

We must teach this principle to our children so that they not only attain to salvation for themselves; but will go on to become skilled communicators, by their examples and by their words, who will be able to teach others to know about God and all His ways, in this life and in the life to come.

1 Peter 1:15 But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; 16 Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.

 

James Malm and Constance Belanger

Note-  Constance submitted the original rough draft of this article in 2016, which I then completed for posting.  Constance left any association with TheShiningLight in late 2017 and is no longer of like mind. 

At the end of 2016 Constance retired from writing for TheShiningLight, and in 2017 she drifted in another direction and disassociated herself from TheShiningLight.

 

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